As a Witch, these four lessons above, correspond with the four Elementals.
My thoughts when I decided to remain silent today, were on none of these things. They were on the terrible depression I had sunken into. Yesterday, at the height (or low) of my depression, I read an article in one of my regular magazines. It was discussing Vipassana or Silent Meditation.
Yesterday was a dreadful day and this article could not have come along at a better time.
I awoke this morning, feeling dreadful and down again. Unable to shake the experiences of yesterday. The thought popped into my head “Silent Meditation”. And so, I did. I decided to try and spend as much of the day silent as possible.
Well, I talk to myself. A lot. I sing and hum to the radio. I talk to the cat. These are my vocalisations. But this silence also included (for me at least), the exclusion of ALL communication! No texts, phone calls, internet or emails. No music, tv or computer.
I perfomed my morning devotionals in silence and tears. I age my breakfast in silence, with no Classic FM, no internet – a couple of texts to friends who were concerned about me after yesterday. Then, I turned off my phone, washed, dressed and stepped into my Yoga Studio and onto my mat.
As a Yoga Instructor, I regularly practice meditation. Recently,it has been difficult. Time has been a great issue, as has my mood. It has been very low of late and concentration tends to wane during the meditative practice and moves to the worrying, stressful issues I have.
Yoga, I love to practice in silence. Hearing the sound of my own voice when I teach, can be a little annoying to me, as I am always saying the same things through the instruction. I usually practis with my gentle music playing in the background and sometimes, even louder music at times. Today however, I practised in silence.
Just the sound of my breath; the ripple of the movement of my clothes; the cracking of joints and sound of my foot on the mat; the distant hum of traffic; the tinkling of the windchimes outside; the settling of the house; and the chatter in my mind.
Whenever I practice Yoga on my own, I always go within. This was deeper.
With my mindful practice today, I first focused on the breath, performing Pranayama or alternate nostril breathing. I wanted to ring my tibetan bell, but again, remained mindful of the silence I wished to experience and embrace. I then decided to work through the Chakra’s, as well as incorporating some fertility work. What an incredible experience this turned out to be. From Apanasana (knee to chest), to bow pose; Tree to Warrior; Crow to Headstand. I focused on my breath, on extending the posture, working through each muscle and quieting the mind.
While I was in bow pose, I noticed a rainbow on the wall. My Yoga is Rainbow Yoga, some synchronicity there? After the suicidal thoughts I experienced yesterday, seeing that Rainbow was a message to me.
My guides are speaking to me, tellin gme to carry on perhaps. That things will get easier. They are telling me that they are here with me. These “things” I talk about are perhaps my emotions, my moods. They may also be to do with my Yoga Teachings. Perhaps my worries and fears.
They, my guides, are always with me – I know I need to realise this. They were telling me to take more time for myself too.
I am always busy and always giving to others, taking little time for myself. A few months ago, I had decided to give myself a day off a week. So far, I have not done so well with that. I always want to perform my own Yoga Practice, to meditate, to walk in the park, to read magazines and books and maybe even to write. Although I did want to work today I decided to take the time to remain Silent. I did actually speak two words, after I had perfomed Neti (cleansing of the sinus passages), I said “thats better” and realised I had spoken placing my hand over my mouth!
Unfortunatley, a little later, the phone rang and I had to answer it. Followed by an appointment at the hospital. But I managed a good three hours with silence. Perhaps next time I can last a little longer?
To Know, To Dare, to Will, to Keep Silent.
Silence, one of the more difficult lessons to learn as a Witch on her journey through the Wheel of the Year. Winter, ruled by the Element of Earth, this is the silence. The silent time and the discovery of inner silence.